Oh the irony! In the summer we shed more centre halves than a dog sheds hairs in a summer moult, and now Allardyce is out with his begging bowl, pleading for somebody to lend him a yard dog number five, any yard dog number five.
How much did we sell da Costa for? Just over a million I seem to remember. How much would promotion be worth to us? What a stupid false economy that sale now looks with Reid injured and Tomkins seemingly struggling with a deep seated injury. In theory we have Demel too, but he's not really a centre half and seems to be our new Dyer in any case.
When the season started I warned we were short of cover in this key position. What did we do to address the situation? Nothing. Perhaps Doctor Evil fancied his chances of making a come back after assessing the weakness of the division he has been tasked to win promotion from.
But apart from that option, what did Allardyce leave himself with? The hope of picking somebody up on loan if injury struck apparently. Didn't anybody tell him that Sod's Law With Knobs On applies at Upton Park? Never mind, "If it can go wrong, it will go wrong", the rule reads, "Even if it can't go wrong, it will go wrong regardless." Welcome to Icelandic banking owners just before a global economic meltdown triggered by Icelandic banks! Only at West Ham!
So who will we end up with? A Northampton reserve? Maybe Di Canio could lend us a Swindon kid for old time's sake? There must be a retired former Bolton centre half who fancies a boost to his pension plan surely?
Anybody will do now. Even Upson or Gabbidon!